Spoon or No Spoon? How to Eat Pasta

When it comes to pasta, most of us still struggle to eat it with dignity. No matter how hard we try to twirl our pappardelle with ease and grace, it's inevitable that from time to time strands will dangle from our mouth to either be slurped up or spilled out. I don't see myself ever winning this battle with pasta, but at least I can succeed in using the right utensil(s) in my attempt.

So how are we to eat this Italian favourite? Spoon or no spoon?

I can't recall ever using a spoon to eat pasta until I went to a restaurant in London and was served one with my linguine. At 18, I just assumed I'd been doing it wrong all my life; using a fork against the dish was incorrect, it turned out. (Perhaps I had been served one back home at some point, but this was the first time I ever took note.) After my London experience I could take the spoon or leave it. If I was served one I'd use it, if not I never requested one. Of course, for many Americans, using a spoon with spaghetti is the norm. Why I wasn't taught this from my family, I'm not sure.

But, as it turns out, I should thank them. After conducting a bit of entertaining research, I discovered they were right. Perhaps I'm the last one to know the verdict on this one (and it goes without saying that this is a purely subjective debate), but proper etiquette dictates that using a spoon to eat one's pasta is a major faux pas (except in some very special situations, which I will get to later.)

A 1982 New York Times article carries my favourite quote about this debate. Three of Manhattan's top Italian restaurant owners met to discuss the dos and don'ts of eating pasta. And although there were some disagreements, their opinions on the matter of the spoon were one and the same.

"As to the use of a fork plus a spoon for eating pasta, all those at the table were adamant. Spoons are for children, amateurs and people with bad table manners in general." 

No beating around the bush here. Talk about a harsh, albeit hilarious, conclusion. The sheer frankness of this sentiment is to be admired.

Judith Martin (aka Miss Manners)

Etiquette guru Miss Manners has also weighed in. In response to a reader who asked about the proper way to eat pasta, Miss Manners offers this:

"Gentle Reader,
Properly speaking, pasta is twirled on the fork against the bottom of the plate, not against a spoon. But if the people to whom you refer really know manners, Miss Manners assures you that they would have been too polite -- or too intent on their own pasta -- to notice."

Nice answer, Miss Manners. She does a wonderful job of teaching good etiquette without passing judgement.

But for the reference with the most currency we go back to 16th century Italy when Giovanni Della Casa wrote the book (literally) on etiquette. Casa wrote a treatise on "politeness and delicacy of manners" in the 1550s, called Il Galateo (The Etiquette). In it he states the proper way to eat spaghetti is by twirling the fork to wrap the pasta around it (à la Miss Manners), without using a spoon. So there you go. 

But that's not the only rule he laid out for us. Here are a few other gems on proper decorum from Mr. Casa's book of rules, which are sure to trigger a laugh or two:

"It is also an inelegant custom, for anyone to apply his nose, by way of smelling, to a glass of wine, which another person is to drink... Since there is a possibility, at least, that his nose may drop upon it."

"When the table is cleared, to carry about your tooth-pick in your mouth , like a bird going to build his nest, or to stick it behind your ear, as a barber does his comb, is no very genteel custom."

"The habit of which some people have got of thrusting their hands into their bosoms, or handling any other part of their persons which is usually covered, is an obvious instance of indelicacy, and very improper."

So, if you've ever wondered why it's uncouth to put you hands down your pants in the presence of company, there you have it.

Back to the matter of the spoon, some people are so passionate about their hatred of spoons with pasta they started a Facebook group called the Anti-spoon Spaghetti Liberation Front. Seriously.

Still, there are some circumstances where a spoon is tolerated. "If your sauce is very liquid - a juicy primavera, a clam sauce - you might use a spoon to prevent splattering," acknowledges Luigi Nanni in the Times article.

On the other side of the debate is a blogger named Matty who loves pasta so much he writes a blog called pasta-blog.com. His take on using a spoon with pasta is somewhat different from the Times' sources. 

". . . let me tell you this: in Matty-world, there is only one way to eat long pasta, and that is with a fork and spoon. 

Thanks Matty, but I think I'll go with the experts (and the creators of pasta) on this one. Although, I should disclose that the writer of the Times article says at the end, "P.S. My own preferred technique for eating pasta? With fork and spoon. I won't be reconstructed."

Well, he was writing in the 1980s...

I guess the lesson learned is this: While it may be ruled that using a spoon is poor manners, I say that as long as you refrain from slurping (by far the most egregious behavior of them all), eat it however you wish. After all, if the choice is between using a spoon or wildly slurping up (and inevitably splattering) your bucatini, the former is far less offensive and embarrassing. 

And remember, however hard it may be, try, as best you can, to refrain from thrusting your hand into your bosom.